After another evening of later-night concalls, punctuated by the Bubba on lead guitar (with adequate doses of crunch, fuzz, wah and phase shifting), I mentioned in passing that blues guitar accompaniment makes conference calls that much smoother. His response: an all-blues album of songs about conference calls.
Here’s my proposed track listing:
1. 65 minutes. The song is listed as 3:45 on the CD, but it runs 4:30 with two false endings.
2. No Pants. Discovering untold truths, and things better left to the strangest of imaginations, discounting for attendance at sci-fi conventions. Contains the previously unknown Mr. Peanut riff.
3. Mute All Lines. A thoughtful exploration of the tragedies of multi-tasking, especially around children, dogs, and bathrooms.
4. Next Slide. Sampling everything from Gregorian chants to Jay-Z’s sampling of the Doors and superimposed over a synthesized back beat, it’s the soulful anthem of those dying by Powerpoint.
5. Repeat. Heavily influenced by Frippertronics, the middle parts of Philip Glass’ Einstein on the Beach, and the entire catalog of Yngwie Malsteen, this theme and endless variation starts with the most rudimentary of music theory and ends up making Bach glad he’s still dead.